...and Alan's introduction to Africa just keeps getting more and more entertaining.
Last night we were all a bit late getting to bed, as there was a bit of a bloodbath going on at la casa.
As usual, I let the dogs out to do their thing around 10:30pm before bedtime. Normally I do this thing where I stand out on the stoop and stare up into the sky trying to spot at least 1 falling star before the 4 legged monsters are done peeing and ready to go back inside. Last night, however, I was only out there for about 30 seconds before I realized all 4 of them had all bolted off into the bush, and some seriously scary noises were starting to come out of the darkness over there.
(I keep telling Hannes we NEED SOME LIGHTS OUTSIDE but so far as far as we've gotten is the string of jalapeno christmas lights that hang over the stoop. Not exactly the practical flood lighting I was hoping for)
First there was just branches breaking and a bunch of growling, which then turned into howling and crazy barking and a doggy shriek or two. The scary part that was no matter how much I called any of them, they just weren't listening and it sounded like something ferocious was on a rampage. Then the weirdest sound I ever heard - it was like someone had a corrugated iron box full of timber and was shaking it violently and running and stumbling randomly around through the bush... or something.
Of course my first thought was: "Crikey!!! Leopard!!!" but then I realized
1) the only growling that was going on was very dog-like
2) leopards are graceful and don't thunder around awkwardly in the bush
3) all 4 dogs sounded like they were all still alive
and then I realized how LARGE the thing (whatever it was) sounded, nearly like it had hooves so I thought "crap!. . . probably a cow or a donkey I bet Mary left the gate open again!" but the way the dogs were shrieking bloody murder still made me pretty scared that something huge was going to come crashing out of the darkness and straight at me.
So I hollered at the boys and they both came running out of the house and neither one of them had any clue what was going on, so weren't really being any more help than a box of rocks. Not to mention the flashlight that I grabbed out of the kitchen was giving off about as much light as a dying wristwatch, so we were all pretty much helpless, standing there in the pitch blackness stunned, listening to 4 hysterical dogs on the attack, an unidentified large disoriented creature making sounds I'd never before heard in my life, and our own voices shouting out the names of dogs who had absolutely no intention of following any commands whatsoever! By this time, every single dog within the entire neighbourhood of Notwane was going crazy in response to Sech, Reggie, Reilly's barking and howling, and of course Billy's high-pitched, blood-curdling screeching.
After about 2 minutes of just being stupid and standing around frozen in fear, we kind of all started moving towards the chaos and somehow that ended up with the dogs dispersing a bit and Sech (of course) charging the THING towards the swimming pool. THen Alan got a glimpse of it fighting it's way into one of our landscaped beds and goes "it's not a cow! it's spikey!" around about the same time Johannes managed to catch Reggie, who was all bloody. I found my way to the swimming pool lights and turned them on, and then Hannes managed to get into the dog pile and grab Billy. His back was full of spines about as long as his own body. I would've believed sooner that it was a porcupine, had I not caught a glimpse of this thing that Sech was currently attacking, and seen the sheer size of it.
It stood taller than all the dogs with the exception of Sech, and had feet the size of a small human. And when it reared its spines, they actually stood HIGHER than Sech (who already comes up past my waist, himself), and it was most definitely fighting off the dogs with some serious agression. It even came AT us a few times while we were trying to corral the tornado of fighting dogs into the light. It was really, really huge!
I was pretty confused because the only porcupine I'd ever seen in my life was back in South Dakota when I was a kid and I remembered it being small, docile, sitting in the middle of the road, and only about as big as a large hedgehog. This thing was bigger than a Boerboel!!
Anyway, to make an already long story shorter, we saved all the dogs & threw them inside, except
Sech, within a few minutes. You can tell this dog is bred to fight and protect by the way he was wired to the gills with adrenaline, had a face full of spines, and was STILL GOING. The porcupine was rattling his spines, hissing, attacking, going for it, and Se

ch just wouldn't back down. There was blood everywhere. I managed to grab the camera, it was taking so outrageously long to get the situation to a manageable position. I can swear that the whole neighbourhood probably thought that there was a full-scale attack in progress on plot 32A.
This photo doesn't do the size of the giant porcupine justice. It was really scary. It was like a small person stomping and storming around with 10,000 million knives sticking out of its back, going rattle rattle rattle hiss hiss click click rattle rattle....
Thankfully Alan didn't know anything about porcupines, and actually got up close enough to be able to grab
Sech, eventually. The struggle involved a thick jungle of thorn trees, a pissed-off porcupine, and a raging
boerboel who was ready to kill. I'm still not sure how he did it but it must be that insane Waterford warrior blood in him. Check out all that champion blood splatter all over the face:

With all the dogs inside, it became clear exactly how much blood was being lost. The living/dining room looked like a murder scene.
The quills that we pulled out nearly resulted in a few hands getting chomped off, but it was all out of love.
Here's some of the un-broken ones we saved for posterity:
Since none of us knew that much about the Giant African Porcupine, we did some research this morning and found out the following interesting facts:
- They can weigh up to 30kg (60lbs)
- They walk flat-footed and have 5 toes
- They are Africa's largest and heaviest rodent
- It will stamp its feet, click its teeth and growl or hiss while vibrating specialized quills that produce a characteristic rattle.
- Quill length on different parts of the body varies, from 1 inch up to 12 inches on the back.
- Porcupine quills have long been a favorite ornament and good-luck charm in Africa. The hollow rattle quills serve as musical instruments and were once used as containers for gold dust.
Alan's closing remark of the evening:
"Well, that certainly wouldn't have happened in Ireland!"