This week I had my first bout with the pre-leaving eebie-jeebies...
A week ago today we had a big barbeque out in the backyard, with about 15 friends. Here are a few of the guilty parties involved:

It was a great time. Probably one of the most fun nights we've had in Ireland this summer. But it did sorta succeed in registering with us that we'll be leaving some good friends behind. Even though we often say that we won't. (What was once a true statement has gradually turned into a defence mechanism.)
"5 months".... now, when those words come out of our mouths, it isn't so much of a case of "ah sure, that's a LONG time!" Rather there's something about the number 5 which is small-- Small enough to bring the more tougher things about moving, to the surface. Strangely enough, these are things that didn't even register in our thoughts when the countdown was still at a whopping "
6 months".
It's interesting that after having re-located 9 times in 12 years, I know the routine so well. I know how it works with missing people, I know how the good byes can really suck, and I also know (fortunately? unfortunately?) as early as now, whom I will and won't be in touch with from this place 5 years from now. It isn't clairvoyance, it's literally just experience.
Well, at least we're prepared for it.
Speaking of friends,
the time is coming. Again something that the number "5" does to you which 6 months didn't really: This whole need to tell those we really care about...It is slowly bubbling up to the surface. Scott and Linda, for example. We can't shake this feeling that we're "cheating" on them. We're going up to their house tonight, so we'll see if we get the cojónes to let them in on our little secret. I just worry that they won't understand our reasoning behind keeping it under wraps for what, over a year now? In a not-so-comfortable way I feel like we're handing in our 2-weeks' notice or something.
Anyway, I got this idea that I'd practice the big delivery a little, in a bit of a warm-up for the upcoming blows we're going to have to start giving people. So at lunch yesterday I kinda casually mentioned in a somewhat "uh, can you pass the salt"-sort of way(to Stephen and Kevin - whom I know can keep their mouths shut), that we might be getting itchy feet and considering our next move. Foreign travel was the topic of our conversation, and it just somewhat slid in there nice and naturally. They both reacted to whatever it was that I actually said in somewhat of a "OK, and do you want fries with that" -sort of way, asking semi-interestedly "when?" So I decided to bump the conversation up a level by saying "oh I don't know, maybe January". To which they both simultaneously nearly choked on their noodles, which didn't help my uneasiness much. I was hoping it would be more of a half-expected sort of reaction but apparently it really IS as soon as I get the feeling it is, now.
I'm sure this sounds like it's tragic and sad, but it's not... it's just the way things happen. You go through some hard things in the build up to making the break, but then the reward is tenfold. And naturally, the real
quality things (read: "people") from each different stage/place/life will stay in your life as long as you want, or for as long as you put the effort into maintaining them. Surprisingly enough to both of us, we may actually leave Ireland with some hangers-on to add to our collection of extended friends. Who ever would've thought!?!
Anyway, it'll be interesting to see what happens tonight with S & L. Good thing they'll be serving margaritas.
"Nothing is permanent:The sun and the moon rise andthen set,The bright clear day is followedby the deep, dark night.From hour to hour, everythingchanges"-Kalu Rinpoche